I Just Want To…

I just want to write.
Since I’m not a person that will express himself through oral means
I use words, metaphors, similes – I forgot what I wanted to say
Maybe these words will return in the next two dreams
Or they will somehow ease from the transition of brain to pen to outlet
The combination of the three really isn’t as easy as it seems.

I just want to speak.
I am able to voice my opinions though written expression
Look you in the eyes and give you that beginning, middle and ending
But opportunity knocks hard and I stand speechless in our brief session
Another chance wasted due to the inability to speak, just say hello
Another step in my impending regression

I just want to live.
Free of judgment and able to live proudly with my flaws.
But society carries that ‘perfect’ tag as if they never made mistakes
Chastises me for being who I am and causes me to add more scars
So I hide who I am to give myself an illusion that’s presented to you
But if I allowed you into my world, walking in my shoes you won’t get far

I just want to go.
Away and leave this part of me behind as a distant remembrance.
Rid myself of those that truly didn’t care and live desolate in my being.
No new faces, minus myself from the joys equals no disappointing experience.
Wish you all the best in your endeavors and forget that we crossed paths
This separation from others is relieving and provides my perfect balance