A few days ago, Jamil composed this letter to the ladies and with his permission, I’m able to share his words with you. Hope that you ladies that do read this, take heed to what’s being said.
To all my beautiful ladies losing hope…
I just wanted to write you this letter to let you know I’m sorry you feel there’s no man out there for you or that you’ll never find him if he is.
I won’t get into the whole “girls like bad guys” shtick because I’m almost 30 and I know now that it’s only like that because women need some excitement in their lives while they are waiting around for the one guy that’ll be their stability for the remainder of their life. I get it. And with each fading inch of hope, an inch in distractions of the bad boy persuasion is gained.
I’m not here to advertise myself or make myself available to you. I’m here to tell you that I’m right here…so that means that there’s others just like me. Unfortunately, we are harder to find than you think…but it’s your doing, not ours. Us good guys are as blemished as the bad ones. Maybe we’ve done some terrible things in our history of dating. Maybe our personalities are too awkward to make us stand out from the crowd. Whatever the case may be, we are there.
I think the only difference between a good man and a bad man is not that good men don’t fuck up. The fuck ups are the fork in the road for a man. You can either choose to embrace that experience and enjoy the cheap thrill of it or the minimal effort/maximum satisfaction from it or you can take a more difficult path and try to actually learn your life lessons from them and apply them to future actions.
The reasons why good men are so hard to find is because women don’t realize there’s no FINAL destination on the path to becoming a good man. A good man will always challenge himself to improve. We always look like a work in progress. Women don’t like works in progress. They want finished, polished men. Be leery of a man that thinks he’s a good man and has learned all his lessons in life. It’s nothing but a detour. That little dirt path off the highway that actually leads to the other road that the bad niggas take lol. It’s their angle to appear to be a good man to women that have become fed up with them and need a change.
I’m putting you up on game. If you want to eventually be happy, look at that man’s heart. Is he a good person? Is he sincerely TRYING to become a good person? Sometimes we need a queen to complete certain parts of the puzzle we struggle to figure out on our own. We need you. But you have to be willing to give us a try, flaws and all. A good man is flawed just like a bad man.
In closing, the next time you find yourself throwing your hands up and letting that nigga you KNOW is bad take up your time…just remember, you’re voluntarily giving up a piece of your soul to kill off and making it that much more difficult to find the man you want. We’re out here. You have to want one bad enough to accept that he may be in human form instead of cyborg lol.
Good luck ladies. I’m feeling just like you do when it comes to good women…but I’m starting to understand and redefine exactly what a good woman is…and I’m seeing y’all all over the place. Especially you… 🙂